I't's been a while since I last narrated while here in Aket. I've lost track of the date, having never been a whiz at math or numbers, but I'd guess a couple/three weeks have gone by. I was feeling a little down at the last time I recorded. Or maybe just tired-- it's a long walk from Monroe to Aket, most of it uphill. I was also feeling a little sad and lonely without my "wives". I'm evidently quite addicted my "morning exercises" to start every day and "night exercises" to finish the day in a civilized manner. Hey, you'd miss them too if you had wives like mine! I've been feeling disenchanted with the whole Nokhon lifestyle: wandering aimlessly through the woods, communing with Nature and nobody else, trying to honor/obey the stupid rules of Atli, striving to become a magical shaman when I believe more in modern science; the everyday life of squatches all so boring, so empty of achievement, such a waste of time. Feels the same as watching too much TV back home. Of course, I've been comparing lifestyles from the perspective of having recently been a rock musician on the road, when every day was full of music and social interaction, new foods to try, lots of wonderful sex with the women I love, a new town every day. But all that got to be boring too. Well, not the sex, not with those women. Nor the music. That was true reality. And magical. Especially with my own lyrics-- at least when they actually have some meaning. Like I Like To Run. But when I got back to Aket with an extra guitar at last, planning to teach some young squatch how to play it-- I just never felt like getting it together. I didn't even play guitar alone for over a week, which may be the longest by years that I've gone without practicing. I'd also been disappointed to find that my Sha-haka teacher Dahasset was not teaching his course on Fire Control, which I still hoped to learn. I took the Healing Massage class-- which is pretty good and actually usable --and the Applied Syssk lessons, but I still felt like I was just treading water, just killing time. Am I having the classic existential crisis? Or is this ennui? Things got better when I finally got back in touch with Dambaraggan. That got me started talking to people again, even his two other oration students, Dajimmieh and Dagahaggat. Traditionally Nokhon orators tend to be jealous of other orators, but I knew that and made an effort to be friendly. Which helped, even though they are still pretty damn boring conversationalists. Or maybe it's me, right? Dambaraggan and I resumed inflicting our infamous comedy routine on Town Square once again. We're still a pretty big hit with the academic crowd, but we could use some new materiel. Magga finally made it to Aket, along with Daklakht, who wanted his private bed chamber back so that he can continue boning Magga in it. I can understand that-- I'd like to bone Magga in it too-- but I'm still working on optimizing my personal magic by maintaining celibacy. If I even believe that it works. It's maybe too nasty a price to pay, what about enjoying life? I would definitely rather have had more yøramma than more magic tricks, this was becoming a case of diminishing returns. I miss Melly, her blonde beauty, her perfect peach-fuzz skin like a red flag, me being the bull. Along with Liss's sassy latina ass. Simultaneously, of course. Or one at a time, hey, I'm easy-- and maybe getting kinda desperate.
Speaking of girls, I ran into Madanda the other day-- you know, that female who'd helped me learn the Floating Fire Trick. Actually, she'd heard that I was back in town and came looking for me. She found me on the Town Square with Dambaraggan doing our comedy routine. There she was in the audience, laughing at our jokes. That was so unlike her that I didn't recognize her at first, since she's usually so strict and serious about everything. She and I had studied Fire Control in Dahasset's class together and were the only students who actually made the trick work. Madanda considered devout chastity as the path to her magical center and more or less talked me into considering it because she was having such impressive results. But then both Dahasset and I left Aklet, so she did too. But something must have changed her eternally virgin mind, because she came out of Aket and all the way to our Hacienda, violating her inflexible version of Atli and risking unholy contact with skesk most evil just to ask me to deflower her. Madanda is not a pretty girl, nor does she try to be; she's a slob, a hairy mess. Even so, one could wonder how she was still a virgin in a society where everyone gets laid at least once a month. To do that she had to avoid the kha-rats every full moon, which she had done all her life. But I did her the yøramma favor because I respected her magical potential, like it was my duty or something. Actually, it wasn't easy; I had a problem getting a hard-on, which usually NEVER happens. Yeah, I know. every guy says that. But Masnia was handy so I asked her to come and help. As a threesome I had no problem, focusing on beautiful Masnia. But Madanda's reaction to her first yøramma was to laugh hysterically and run off without any explanation, which seemed pretty weird. Then she immediately left the Hacienda and I hadn't seen her since. Yeah, weird. As was our convesation. "Kha, Madanda, there you are!" "Ra, Dadamet, here I am. I've been looking for you. I need another yøramma...uh... please." "Hmm, I was wondering about that: are you all right?" "Am I all right? Is that some kind of NokhSo culture-cliché question?" Ooops, I think, oh yeah, now I remember-- she hates humans. But okay, let's go. "Ra," I admit, "it's exactly that: a polite expression of interest for your present condition. Does that somehow offend you?" She pauses for a bit, deciding. "Skawww, not really. It's fine, I get it: a half NokhSo like you can be civilized too." "Wow, are you becoming civilized yourself?" I tease her. She doesn't know how to react, then smiles and reaches for my dakh to hold. I let her, squatches do that, it's cultural. "You seem changed," I tell her. "More open." She becomes quite animated. "I had a breakthrough. Concerning Fire. Starting one. From a distance." "Oh, that's nice. Really? Starting fires. From a distance. Right?" I doubt that I sounded very enthusiastic. "Ra, I can do it. Because of your yøramma. It freed something in me. You say I am changed, but I say the world has changed around me." "Yeah, I'll bet. Actually it sounds kinda dangerous, starting remote fires and all that. Exactly what is it you can do now?" "I can ignite wood from as far as I can see it. Just a little spark, but once started..." "...it can grow. Into a forest fire. Or a city in flames. Unless you can also put it OUT, maybe?" "Sk, not just yet." Okaay, I couldn't smell that she was lying, or I'd have just assumed she was misinformed. But she's the only one who could teach me how to do the floating flame, which is an impossible paradox: a flame that doesn't really exist but by which you can actually SEE in the dark by it. That IS magic and she has a talent for it. So I asked her: "Can you show me?" By the way, I'm no longer staying in the Alutna HQ. Daklakht has reclaimed it, and Magga along with it. Nice to know they're having a good time, while I... oh, never mind. Anyway I am big fat Dambaraggan's guest now, he has a nice place down by the lake. So I can go swimming every day... Anyway I took Madanda there, Dambaraggan was still at the Town Square, quite busy reciting verses from Atli, the audience mesmerized, putty in his hands... Of course he couldn't stop just then, so she and I had the place to ourselves. There was even a handy little fireplace (a perc only allowed for Sha-hakas). So I put a little piece of dried tree branch into the fireplace and asked Madanda to demonstrate her new trick. She tried, hard, but nothing happened. Most of the night, again and again, but no spark. I wasn't disappointed, actually way more relieved, to tell the truth. Finally she said, "It's because I need a yøramma! Do me now!" "Yeah, well... we're in Aket. Not s'pposta. Like you told me." Actually, I didn't want to. Fortunately, Madanda has always been such a stickler for the rules that she couldn't bring herself to insist that we violate them now. Whew! We spent the rest of the night by the lake, just talking. Madanda may not appeal to me as a woman, but she's extremely intelligent and knowledgable for a Bigfoot lady, so we theorized about consequences of actually being able to start fires from as far away as you can see. She had never concerned herself about the what-if? of it all. Like what if she starts a forest fire? But I, having grown up in a world afraid of ever-impending thermonuclear warfare, offered her lots of scary scenarios to dwell upon. Madanda continued to insist that she HAD done it, even if she couldn't repeat it... just then. Me, I believed her and therefore suggested that she never teach it to anyone else, not even me. Actually, she's probably no more dangerous than a book of matches, which exist everywhere (except here). It's just the idea that she could theoretically shoot some of those nasty old skesk airplanes out of the sky with nothing more than her very strict mind... that kind of bothers me.
Another questional old aquaintance I bumped into was Dazlask, my perhaps/maybe partial-father, who had been studying Nokhon medicine last time I'd seen him here in Aket. He had always been a bit of an outlaw, a kronoke (exile) when I first met him,almost always in trouble with Nokhon society. I'm never sure how I feel about him. But Dazlask likes me because I'm so often at odds with the rules-- and I get away with it, me being the Atli-predicted Negotiator (but am I? nobody really knows for sure). So he's always friendly to me. He's also a fan of the comedy routines that Dambaraggan and I do on the Town Square dias, but not so much my singing and guitar presentations, considering it just unwelcome noise. Oh well, can't please everyone. But my myøzik does please some people, among them a young (20?) squatch male named Dossequat, who wants to learn to sing and play guitar, even though that requires an intimate fondling of wicked skesk (the guitar). Not that Dossequat appears to have any creative talent (like Masnia did, right from the start), but he is dedicated to becoming cool-- like me --and that gets him brownie points in this maddeningly uncreative Nokhon society. We've had three sessions, I tried to teach him how to make three chords, A D E. Buzz buzz buzz, nothing musical came out. I have to remind myself just how long it took ME to get a clean clang out of a guitar and I had grown up with music all around me; radio, TV, quality stereo systems, a thousand-year backlog of music from an entire planet. This kid is starting out with nothing but ME: those few songs I've translated to Nokhontli and performed here in Aket, otherwise he's probably never heard actual music in his life. It's amazing that he even considers learning it. But he's proving to be surprisingly dedicated, so I'll keep at it for a while, see what happens. If it does catch on I may have to smuggle more guitars into Aket.
About the time I started feeling better about my boring existance here in Squatchland and my not having Melly along with me, I had an impulse to go visit wise old Da-nama-hat, my Nokhon "Grampaw". I mean, maybe he IS my ancestor --it's hard to keep track of squatch paternal lineages, there are certainly no paper trails here. Anyway, he ACTS like he's my great-super-great grandfather, or that we have some kind of meaningful relationship going on. but he almost never TELLS me any details unless it segues with "today's lesson". He's very kind and empathatic, though. But those "impulses" I get remind me that he IS a 250 year-old wizard capable of telepathic contact with anyone he knows. He has a way of "paging" me whenever he feels that it's time to contact me. Da-nama-hat is a very good friend to have, being one of the Three Elders governing the Aket area, roughly corresponding to "the Great Pacific NorthWest" with a Nokhon population of probably about five-to-seven hundred. Hard to count since Nokhons generally don't quite comprehend any numbers over 3. Sounds weird to you humans, I know, but I'm a fairly intelligent squatch and I can't do shit with numbers. Squatch brains, including mine, are just wired differently. Meanwhile, Da-nama-hat has been trying to teach me mental telepathy, Sha-haka style. I can recognize those impulses, but worded messages elude me and I still can't send anything without help of another Sha-haka, like Dagrolyt or Magga. One thing we usually do together is to drink and eat some snacks; not a lot, just some nettles and spring water. It feels ceremonial and always seems to end up being a lesson in wisdom. The "Grasshopper" routine, y'know. But no potato chips or cola, sorry.
I haven't spoken much about the Sha-haka shamanistic rituals I've been studying here because they are intended to be secret. At first they weren't telling me much except that I wasn't ready for them, that my NokhSo mind-set would be a hindrance. I told them NokhSos have shamanistic rituals too, especially in naturist societies, so finally one day I was invited to a session. We NokhSos, that is humans (counting myself as one of you because in my head I'm more or less a typical American guy) tend to gloss over the important stuff and exalt the trivial. And that was slammed home to me when I tried to participate in a Nokhon ritual. Your/my perception of a shamanistic ritual is what we've seen on TV or movies. Unless you are a Native American or African tribesman, most of us have never really experienced such a ritual in person. The closest we come symbolically is maybe a High School graduation ceremony. But we all know what such a ritual usually involves: chanting symbolic phrases and responding to them, tests of physical discomfort and endurance. Like clapping hands or dancing for hours, drug-or-alcohol induced hallucinations, aimed at separating mind from body. Well, they were right about me not being ready: I expected to be a participant in a ceremony, but often end up only being an observer. There is chanting, but only whispered, because Sasquatches don't tend to make noise. I understand the words, classic Nokhontli from the Atli, but the meaning of their verses don't always make sense to me. Just like the Bible. After an hour of that I find myself drifting, wishing I was watching old reruns of "Game of Thrones" on TV instead. I'm supposed to stand in an open position; chest expanded, shoulders back, hands just hanging, wrists not crossed, not blocking access to my internal organs front or back. But I kept falling into holding my hands in front or back. If I'd had pockets I'd probably just put my hands in them.
So that's my life while hanging out here in Aket; half social, half discipline, no frills. The other students call me "Mlønoreskah" --city kid. Because they see me spending more time in the city of Aket than I do out in the wilderness, which as everyone knows, is where Bigfoot belongs. And when I tell them about my hi-tech life at the Hacienda, they consider that a city too, being a collection of bakhli and a crowd of too many people. But I'm missing that crowd of people, especially my wives, so I think I'll go home for the next kha-rat, which will be our first anniversary anyway. The thought of enduring another yøramma-prohibited kha-rat here in Aket is Number One on my must-not-do list. I've accomplished most of what I came here for anyway: expanded my healing massage techniques, fine-tuning my syssk capabilities, spending some wisdom time with my ol' Grampaw. But I think I've dropped my "ardent" interest in Fire Control: it seems pretty scary now that I know of somebody who can maybe actually do it. I don't know what date it is today, but I can always just take a look at the moon to figure out about when it will be full, don't need any hi-tech for that, just access to a light crystal shaft. It'll be pretty soon, actually, giving myself a couple of days for the hike back to Monroe. No hurry yet, though: Dambaraggan and I are working on a new routine. And Dossequat, my one and only guitar student, seems to be finally getting the concept of tempo. I've invited him to come out to the Hacienda if he wants to have more lessons, where I can also introduce him to the stereophonic world of recorded music, which is really hard to comprehend within the constant silence of Aket. That's the problem: I miss my Hacienda life when I'm here and Aket when I'm there.
Talking with Daklakht and Magga, we'll all three be going to the Mother's Meadow kha-rat for the next full moon, so we may as well go together. Magga likes threesomes-- that is, two guys servicing her at once --so we'll be taking a few pauses on our way home. That's fine with me, after being celibate for so long while in Aket. Of course, Daklakht has not been celibate while here, since the Alutna-jii is not required to be, but he's happy to share Magga with me and give her an extra good time with her two favorite lovers. We'll all end up doing it together in the kha-rat anyway.
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