ADAM recording verbal report of his time in Aket, starting Tuesday, the 1st of September to October ??-- Hello, this is Adam, on my way back into Squatchland after having been away on tourné around the USA for three months. I'll be away for... well, I dunno, maybe three months again, who knows? So you probably won't have heard from me until now because I've got no way to communicate in real time. I never take a cell phone to Aket; it could be traced by surveillance satellites and that could be disasterous. But I do have my compact little voice recorder and a solar battery charger so I can make oral reports as I go. I left the Hacienda a couple of days after the August kha-rat, and just before our Chrome Pie friends had also packed and left to go play a concert in Portland, Oregon, eventually on their way back to LA. We all wished one another Bon Voyage and "see you later alligator" and I walked off into the woods. They tried to offer me a ride in the direction of Aket, but that's exactly what I don't want to reveal to humans, not even friends, so I just vanished into the sunset, kinda mysterious-stranger like. Except that it was only 8:30 am in the morning. I'm traveling alone this time; normally I would go Bigfooting with Magga and Masnia because they can keep up with me and it's fun to have all that sex. But Magga wants to follow later, accompanying Daklakht on his patrol route, since they were having a nice reunion together after she'd been gone for three months. (No, I'm not jealous, how could I be? I'm a squatch.) My stay in Aket will be an exercise in celibacy anyway. As for Masnia, she is considering going to Paris to learn French, continuing her studies-break from Aket, not yet ready to take on her duties as an Elder. Well, she is only 20 years old (or maybe 15, depending on who's counting), so let's give the girl a break. An Elder needs to be Older. Melly and Lissandra would like to go with me to Aket, and I'd love that, but they wouldn't be allowed to enter. At least not yet. As usual, I can't reveal any details about the secret location of Aket; no travelogue, etc. But there's nothing much to tell about this trip anyway, since I had nobody to visit on my way by, having just been with almost everyone I know at the kha-rat only a couple of days ago. My first pause so far is to sit here and record this note. "Here", by the way, is right in front of the hidden entrance to Aket. I'm at the base of some mountain somewhere in the Cascade Range, quite anonymous, surrounded by a mix of evergreen trees and rain forest, nothing to indicate that there's an ancient underground Sasquatch temple/city hidden somewhere nearby. This is my 4th time entering Aket, so I know the routine. You have to know where to stand and wait while the Alutna (cops) guards stationed here check you out from their camouflaged watchposts in the woods. One of them has evidently recognized me, since he called to the others to let me pass.
It's later, I'm inside the mountain, I can see the city of Aket below, but I think I'll take a break before taking on those stairs. So I can update my narration... Back at the entrance to Aket, three Nokhon guards came out to me, and sure enough, one of them was a guy named Dalzinet, with whom I'd studied haka-techniques inside Aket. Not exactly a close friend but on friendly terms with. He'd always been interested in my Nokhon Nation Project, toying with the idea of trying out another lifestyle himself, maybe getting tired of crushingly boring guard duty in the woods. Since Aket is a secret hidden city with no discernible roads or trails leading in or out, there's not a lot of traffic, maybe 5 to 10 Bigfoots a day. So we chatted a little. Dalzinet has a relaxed adherence to the Atli, which has been to my benifit. Many-- or rather most --squatches can be quite critical about me and my shameless attitude concerning skesk, fx like me going around with an acoustic guitar hanging on my back, the hollow filled up with forbidden stuff. Officially a No No, but I need that stuff: like pants and shirt for when I have to deal with humans; my voice recorder; a multipurpose Swiss Army knife, a one-quart canteen of water; a small bag of trail mix to eat if I get too hungry. So I've made a special backpack disguised with clippings of my own body hair that makes me look slightly hunch-backed, but otherwise blends in pretty good. Once again I had a guitar along with me-- but this was a 2nd guitar to be stashed along with the 1st one already hidden in Daklakht's private chamber in Aket's Alutna HQ, so that I could finally teach guitar to someone else. If it caught on I could maybe smuggle more instruments into Squatchland. Yep, it's always good to have a customs cop on your side at the border. I've described the entrance route into Aket a few times before: it's a tedious tour, much of it through absolute darkness, usually taking a couple of hours each way if you hurry. Outside, it looks like a natural cave, but once inside it's actually a man-made (?) tunnel, very ancient, leading into the middle of a mountain that seems to have been sculpted hollow unknown thousands of years ago. Dalzinet put my hand on his shoulder to guide me through the darkest part for maybe half an hour's walk. The tunnel opens to other branches, becomes a complex maze to confuse any invaders. Another Alutna (I don't know his name) takes over guiding me, Dalzinet goes back to the entrance alone. Eventually we come to where the phosphorescent moss grows on the ceilings, dimly lighting up the way just enough to barely see where one is going, and I go on alone from there. I'll admit it, it's kind of creepy to do it alone. Dalzinet says so too. It's always a relief to come out of that dark tunnel to the switchback-stairway platform, and then directly into the vast open chamber from where you can look down upon the entire temple-city of Aket. It's fantastic, beautiful even, well-lit in daytime, those big crystal shafts glowing with raw sunshine. Those little tiny folks you can see moving around down there are actually all Sasquatches, about my size. But next there are the stairs you have to take to get down to them. I said the tunnel was creepy, but the stairs are frightening. They lead down to the lake and the base of the township, I'd guess maybe 20 stories below, Those steps were apparently sculpted into the chamber wall thousands of years ago, and are now so worn down, smooth and rounded almost to uselessness. They've all become pitched towards the abyss. And, of course, there are no guardrails or safety features of any kind. Nor is a rope allowed-- that would be skesk! So if you slip and fall, you better hope you hit the lake instead of the rocks. I've complained about that to the local authorities several times, but all I get are shrugs, since nothing can be done. The problem is that squatches don't fix anything, not if it requires using any kind of nasty old skesk: no artifacts allowed here, son. Not even simple hammers and chisels, much less power grinders that can cut through stone. I've had Melly help me Google "how to sculpt stone" and found that it is best to avoid granite, which is exactly what those stairs are made of, by the way. I've considered just doing it myself, but if I screwed it up, causing some steps to crumble and fall off the wall, there'd be NO pathway into Aket any more. As it is, that might soon be the case anyway. Okay, maybe not today, but eventually. I've never counted the steps, but there must be thousands, so it would be a lifetimes career job for one man.
Adam here again. And as you can hear, I made it alive down the stairs (this time). Once again I had a guitar with me, so I couldn't just dive into the lake when I got halfway down the stairway. But I made it, everything intact. One is quite exposed to view while descending the stairs, so that everyone on the Town Square (Ka'aga'ath) can see you coming and usually start waving and calling "you-who", if they know you. I didn't see anyone familiar just then, but it was early in the day and there wasn't much of a crowd yet, maybe five or six lonely squatches. Nobody waving to me, anyway. I've become well known in Aket-- or still was last time I was here back in February --due to playing guitar and singing original songs in Nokhontli on the "stage" of the Town Square. And then there's the comedy routines I do with big fat Dambaraggan, my teacher of oration. Yep, I'm kind of a Big Star in the Nokhon Entertainment Industry. When I got down to the landing base, I took off my guitar and backpack for a quick swim in the lake, to wash off the dust of my trip before going up the next set of stairs into town. The lake water is perfect, by the way; cool and clean, tastes really nice. There's also a garden grove at the bottom of the stairs, lots of nettles and berries grow there, so I ate a breakfast, including a handful of my own trail mix to give me energy for all the stairs I had to go UP now into town, past those weirdly Greek-looking buildings, then on up another level to the Town Square, where all the action is. Sometimes. Just not right then. I hadn't really expected a welcoming comittee, but figured there should be someone I knew at the Town Square who'd be glad to see me. Or maybe someone who remembered my original songs in the Nokhon language, performed right there up on that big chromium dias that serves as a theater's stage. A fan, maybe. I'd come back later, but now I needed to visit the Alutna HQ (police station). Which was easy; all I had to do was turn around 180 and there it was. A wide open doorway in the sheer wall of granite, directly across the great chamber from the worn-out stairway I had just descended. Aket is pretty compact. Of course, it does not resemble any human's police station. No police cars, no barred windows, no uniforms, although the cops do carry a shoulder pouch and braid their beards a certain way so you could see that they are cops. There is also a check-in desk where you can go to report any problems. I've spent a lot of time in this station, because Daklakht is my father as well as the Alutna-jii and he has a private chamber here, which is where I am this very moment. Although there was a problem at first because none of the Alutna on duty knew me, until the acting Alutna-jii, my old buddy Daseh, happened to stroll in and vouch for me. So I could go into Daklakht's private chamber and stash my 2nd guitar and back-pack there, next to my 1st guitar, which was still safely hidden there. So now I could teach guitar if I happened to find anyone with some talent for it. I'd met a few squatches who showed some interest in earning how to play-- mostly just to look cool, I think. But the talent was always missing. But of course, up to now I'd been the only one with an instrument to practice on. I knew it wouldn't be easy-- music was not a part of Nokhon culture, I'd have to introduce the very concepts of rythm and melody to any student who came along. But I had learned it well enough to be a professional musician, singer and songwriter, so I assume other Nokhons could do it too. We'll see, I guess. But all that would come later, first I needed to learn how to be a Bigfoot again. I went down a level to what I call the "Greek buildings", where Sha-haka Dahasset's classroom was last time I was here. Dahasset taught Fire Control, which I've always been interested in. To be able to ignite or snuff out a fire using only your mind, as in telekinesis. He maintained that it was theoretically possible for a skilled adept to put out a forest fire. I can neither start nor stop an actual fire yet, so I'd like to continue taking his course. Last time in his class I met Madanda, a young female student who has a real talent for fire. It was she who taught me the "floating fire trick", how to generate the illusion of a candle flame and then actually use it to see in the dark. A very handy trick I've used a few times, when without a flashlight. She helped me improve it, even though she was critical of what she considered my lack of sexual discipline hindering me, her being a life-long militant virgin. Although a few weeks ago she came to find me at Naked Lake, asking me to deflower her, which I did just to help her out, and then she was gone again, no idea where. But I found the classroom empty and learned that Dahasset has left Aket for a while and there's currently no other Sha-haka who can teach that subject. So I went to the "schooling office" to ask the studies committee what subjects were available. I arranged to take a physical healing-massage course, which I've studied before but could always learn more-- as I'd promised Melly I would. Also Syssk-Magic, taught by Sha-haka Da-tarunnget, a funny (literally) little (for a Bigfoot) professor-type I knew fairly well since he was friends with my own big fat friend Dambaraggan. Speaking of whom, I should go see him, let him know I've arrived safe and sound. I might be disturbing his oration class but I doubt that he'd mind. But his two oration students will definitely mind, they always do. They can't help being jealous of me-- another orator --it's programmed into them. Yeah, I know; me too. But I was tired after my non-stop quick-step walk from Monroe to Aket, so I decided to go back to the hotel and take a nap. Then come out to the Town Square in the evening to see if there'll be some kinda party atmosphere going on. Maybe Dambaraggan will be there, if he happens to have heard that I'm back in town.
All the crystal sunshine rods were dark when I woke up and went out to the Town Square, but the scene was well-lit by various bonfires made by various Sha-hakas, to promote the various entertainments going on around the big chrome dias, a mirror reflecting innumerable copies of the crowd of Nokhons standing or squatting around the Square, where there were jugglers, comedians, story-tellers, all forms of showmanship going on. Except for a critically acclaimed singer-songwriter guitarist, because I didn't bring my guitar along this evening. Guess I just didn't feel like playing tonight. Although back at the Hacienda, Miguel and I had been creating some fantastically good music, or at least in my opinion. And his. A mix of Latin and rock music. Maybe I felt that I couldn't do it justice without his accompaniment. Or maybe it was just because no one had asked me to play, since they had enough entertainment going on already. There's also the hassle of trying to convince Sasquatches that they need to hear some weird NokhSo myøzik which has nothing in common with their own culture. And then end up arguing that it might be violating Atli. Sometimes being around Nokhons makes me feel like such a foreigner. So there I was, squatting beside the famous chromed dias of Aket, surrounded by mostly young party-happy squatches and yet completely alone. A problem with Nokhon social life is that food or drink isn't part of it. They don't have alcohol, or even cola with ice cubes to clink, so nobody hangs out at bars. Which don't exist here anyway. Food is just all the nettles you can eat, which you find everywhere, so there's nobody offering or selling or eating any. The closest thing they have to a recreational drug is khos, which is most like a caffine buzz, hardly a hallucinogen. There just ain't no ingesting-fun going on. Well, I live in a human world where all such fun can go on nonstop, but I never did hang out at bars to meet girls. Of course I'm way too well-beloved to need to meet more girls, me being a rock star Bigfoot and all, but I can still remember being a horny teen-ager with no prospects back in high school.
Anyway, I caught some sleep and woke up to the hum of Town Square and the social swirl of all Aket churning with evening life: students and professors and Alutna. I can't say the streets were packed, but there must have been about half a hundred squatches milling about. For squatches, that's a lot, since there aren't that many of them. And there I was, squatting near the chromed dias, admiring my own warped and wobbly reflection in the mirrored surface of it. Just like everybody else, when a sultry female voice spoke behind me, "Kha, Dadamet, I haven't seen you here for a while." Me not recognizing the voice, nor her also warped and wobbly reflection, but being cool, "Well that's because I haven't been here for a while." Hey, I got lines. It was Matillsma, one of Magga's best friends. She who always seemed to be joined at the hip with their other friend Maminkiwa, but here she was alone for once. I'd never really had a conversation with her, it was alway squatch girl-talk when the three of them were together, I was never really expected to engage. Of course, she asked me: "Is Magga here with you?" "No, she'll be coming later, along with Daklakht." "Ah! She told me you get to yøramma her in Daklakht's bakhl." "Oh, well yes we did once, but it was pretty embarassing the next morning because our instructors could tell that we had wasted our best shyøma-magic, which is not allowed..." "Skog ...not allowed for students here in Aket, I know. Believe me, I know! I've just spent yet another kha-rat here in Aket without yøramma. I'm suffering! It's awful!" "Yeah, it can be hard," I cleverly double-entendré-ed, even though I was trying to avoid where this conversation was going. Matillsma is not unattractive, she actually has a bit more style than your average shaggy Bigfoot babe (because Magga trims her hair). I'd have no problem getting it up for her, even sans shyøma, but I'm not in love with her, so I'd much rather spend that emotion on my four wives, whom I love like crazy! The entire concept of being faithful to one lone lover has no basis in the Nokhon culture and I only get confused when I try to think about it like an American gentleman is required to. "Magga tells me you like to yøramma her every day, not only at a kha-rat." "Yeah, well, we love each other, so we make love." "She also says that you have more-than-2 other wives and yøramma them more-than-2 times every day. Even without shyøma." "It happens, I guess." You know I can't lie. "Can it happen for us? I invite you to yøramma me." Okay, that was quick. But then again, this is Squatchland, where everybody fucks everybody else at some point. "We could go to Daklakht's I>bakhl and yøramma right now," she said, "eerrr...if you don't mind that I have no shyøma to entice you with. Skii'ens." "Well I'm sorry too, because I need to keep my shyøma-haka strong. I'm here in Aket: to work on my magic. So I'd better say: not today." "Okay, I understand," she bobbed her head like squatches do, said: "Of course, I apologize for..." "Oh hey no, I get it, I know how it feels to be ferociously horny and unable to get relief," me remembering high school again. "Tell you what: you are hereby invited to whitchever of our Mother's Meadow kha-rats that you can schedule in. I'll yøramma you then, my best full blast fuck. Okay?" "Sure, I'd like that. Maybe I could yøramma the Alutna-jii then too, I mean, that would be great!" "He'd probably like that too," I assure her, "Daklakht is a pretty horny guy." Then she frowned and asked: "But Magga has told me that your kha-rats include those teeny hairless NokhSo females. How is that? They don't get hurt or die?" "They do just fine," I tell her, "the shyøma gives them power they have never known. They become very enthusiastic." "Oh, ra, that might be fun." "And it is." Someone called her name, "Matillsma", and she waved to a cluster of young squatches, then let me know she was here to meet up with them. The wild night-life of Aket's Town Square, you know. "Ta'ash for now," she says, filling my hands with her ample furry breasts before leaving. Ra, ta'ash." I respond according to custom, politely tweaking both nipples, all part of being a cool squatch.
I stayed at the Town Square for while, talking to no one else that evening, not feeling up to it anyway. Too tired. I finally went back to my lonely abode in the Alutna HQ, to collapse onto a pile of leafy branches. Which is where I am now, making this recording... Daklakht's chamber is still as spartan as it can be, with no foolish creature-comforts to molycoddle a sissy-squatch, it's just a granite box big enough to contain about two Nokhons with a door-hang of vine maple branches woven together to block the entrance/exit enough to give a false feeling of privacy. I have two guitars at my disposal here, but I'd better not start playing and singing in the middle of the night while also in the middle of a Bigfoot police station. I'd keep the cops awake. Or become a prisoner...again. I remember well where the isolation pits are, further on into the tunnels. Not comforting to remember. Still, I'm grateful to be able to sleep here instead of going around town to find some other empty chamber I can use, open to any passing strangers who might also choose to sleep there. Last time I was here I shared this pile of branches with Magga. This place didn't seem so lonely that time.
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